Sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a mighty slip. It started with a crazy boy ...

Whenever we try to change Xander's diaper, he plays this game, where he runs and tries to escape capture. It happens on a regular basis, so we don't even think twice about it. Unfortunately, yesterday, on July 31, 2010, he was running and had an accident. Let's start by showing you the defendant ... This child safety gate has been run into a number of times:

Kristine was about to change Xander and he took off as usual ... After many times of running into that confounded gate, this time, our luck had run out ... Xander ran smack into the end screw that latches the gate. He hit the screw with his eyeball. I heard the pitter patter of running feet and then I heard the gate slam into the wall. This is a normal sound, usually followed by crying and us soothing the little boy. This time however, I didn't immediately hear any crying. That always stands the hair on the back of my neck on end.

Suddenly I heard that soft, muffled cry of someone in so much pain that they can't even let out a real scream. I jumped out of my chair and sprinted up the stairs three at a time. Xander was standing with his hands covering his eyes and his mouth agape in a fearful silent scream.

Pulling him in to me, I hugged him gently and said, "It's okay, boy." After a moment, I eased him away from myself to get a peek at the damage he had done. Kristine was there now and she was crying. She had seen him run into the gate and knew that it was bad. I tried to calm both of them as I carefully pulled his hands away from his eye. It was bleeding everywhere and I couldn't tell if the eyelid, or the eyeball was the damaged part.

It was clear to me in that instant that we were headed for the emergency room. So, we got our act together and drove out to Frederick Memorial Hospital.

The doctor saw him immediately ... I guess they don't mess around with two year olds that have eye injuries. After cleaning his eye up and doing an exam, it was clear that the bleeding had come from the eyelid, instead of the eye itself. Whew! That was a relief.

We were discharged and started home. On our way home, Xander started vomiting. It was hardcore projectile vomit, so I was worried about a potential concussion. We called the doctor and she asked us to come back in.

Long story short, I was in the E.R. for a total of about five hours. Xander received a CT Scan, and he was a trooper. He was terrified of the CT machine, and he was shivering and crying. His hands shook as the machine spun and whirred around his head ... But, he kept his head perfectly still, as I had requested. I was so proud of him. In utter horror and fear, yet he did as instructed and kept his head still.

The CT scan came back negative for bleeding in his brain, and any eye damage. That was another relief!

We drove home and Xan-xan went to bed. This morning when he woke up, his eye was sealed shut due to swelling and some build up of stuff.

After a few minutes, he finally got his eye to pop open. It had some discharge and doesn't look all that great, but I think it is going to be fine.

I hope he has learned his lesson about sprinting away from us, and the danger of things like the child safety gate ... However, I know that this is only the first of many E.R. visits to come.

Cheers,
V

Most of us (me included) don't know what we want. Before you say, "No *expletive deleted* Sherlock!" Allow me to dig a little bit deeper.

It occurred to me that I'm not doing what I want to do. This occurs to me on a regular basis, but yesterday was extra special. You see, I was riding the train home and sitting next to someone that was putting off a putrid body odor. Before everyone knocks my lack of compunction, let me tell you that this was far beyond your standard human being stink. I’m not talking someone who walked 2 miles to the train station on a humid 95 degree day without underarm deodorant. I’m talking about the kind of stink that lingers over a two-week old dead body lying in a rainforest.

Now that I have sufficiently gotten your attention (and perhaps offended the Hell out of you), allow me to continue…

Sitting for 1.5 hours smelling death in a small, hot train car can make you come to some realizations in life. For one, I realized that I don’t ever want to do that again!

During this time, I found myself pondering the immortal words of Conan, when he was asked, “What’s best in life?” Without missing a beat, Conan replied, “Crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women.” Now there’s a guy who knows what he wants!

The more that I think about Conan’s statement, the more I understand my lack of a statement on “what’s best in life?”

I know what my dream day would be like… I would wake up and eat a good (nutritious) breakfast. Following that, I would write for about 2 hours straight (uninterrupted). After that, I would spend some playtime with Kristine and kids. Next, I would go play 18-holes of golf with Kristine. After golf, I would hit the music theory and guitar for about 2 hours. After guitar, I would get some more kid playtime in. I’d squeeze some form of physical fitness in at this point in the day. Finally, I would wind down with the kids and Kristine watching TV or goofing off. Before turning off the light for the night, I’d get some reading in.

That day would obviously be altered to fit in other activities / hobbies, etc. Also, from time-to-time, there would be a two-week vacation to somewhere exotic.

Funny thing about my list… I don’t see work listed. Try as I might, I can’t seem to squeeze it in there. Some of you might argue that my writing (if done on a professional level) would be considered my work. I guess that’s true, but writing is something that I am passionate about. I don’t normally associate passion and work. Viola! Therein lies the problem… In order to make my life more meaningful, I need to be passionate about what I do for a living!

The problem grows when you consider that balancing things you are passionate about and work is nearly impossible. So, I have decided to dedicate some time and effort to figure this out… If and when I figure something out, I will probably write an instructional manual and publish it.

For now, I will continue to ride the smelly train to and from work.

Please feel free to comment with what you feel is best in life!

Signed, a passionate man who is still seeking his passion!

Once I was done with Eric's input, I moved on to some technical details from my friend, Pete. Pete was a pilot in a previous life and he graciously helped me to polish some of my facts pertaining to aircraft, flight patterns and communications.

In addition to Pete and Eric, several other friends and member of my writing club gave me tons of advice and information. To top it off, pretty much everyone has been uber supportive!

My next move is to try and shoot for an agent and publisher. I'll keep you all posted!

FWIW - the book is an action/adventure with a heroine as my lead character. She is a saavy hacker and martial artist, who uses her skills and ingenuity to save the world from utter destruction!

-Vaughn

Along with my great CD4 level, my HIV-1 RNA level (viral load) remains undetectable and is below 48, which is the cutoff for detectable levels.

W00t!

Anyway, I saw my friend Rob for the first time in years last night. It was at the wake for his wife, Debbie. Painful. It was great to see Rob, but the circumstances were less than desirable. Along with Rob, I saw many old faces from the past... Toe, John, Ryan, Francis, Willie, Jeremy to name a few...

Why is it that we rarely see each other these days? And... It always seems to be at a doom-and-gloom event. It is extremely tough to juggle old friendships into these busy days. Even if they are old best friends...

I'm not sure what the solution is, but I know that Rob needs support at this time. Kristine and I plan on giving what we can. Hopefully, I can maintain the relationship beyond simply working through mourning.

In other news... My lower back is still a tad sore from whatever damage I did doing heavy squats and/or deadlifts. I think I've compressed a disc, so I am using inversion boots to hang upside down and hopefully help to remedy this latest issue. I feel a tingling down my right leg and into my foot. I'm thinking that it is sciatica. I'll keep stretching myself upside down and see how that fares... In the meantime, I am taking a week off from my workouts to allow my body to recover some. I've been doing the H.I.T. (high intensity training) for a little over a year now and have made some nice gains in strength, size and muscularity. I am very satisfied thus far.

HIV front... Things are well. I worried that I might be experiencing peripheral neuropathy again, but I think it is the sciatica.

I hope to keep this journal going on a regular basis...

Talk to ya (I know you're out there) soon,
Vaughn